as a parent, maybe this is something that many married couples look forward to. However, sometimes being a parent requires extra and enormous patience because often children act beyond our expectations. Of course, it is not an easy thing to teach children to behave according to our ideals. Not infrequently children make mistakes which is normal because they too are human.
When children make mistakes, as parents we are obliged to reprimand and teach the right actions that should be done. However, tiredness, boredom and impatience often make us forget to teach good and smooth. We often let go of anger, even yelling at children who make mistakes. This is certainly very scary for the child, so that the child may be psychologically traumatized.
Did you know that scolding a child by yelling will be bad for his psychological condition? Screaming and too often scolding children will make children experience behavioral disorders and depression in the future. he was able to grow up as an aggressive human being, or on the contrary too closed off. This is the result of mental shock in children from being scolded when they were little.
7 Tips for Dealing with Trauma to Children due to Being scolded and beaten :
1. Apologize
As adults, we all know that yelling or hitting can hurt other people and we need to apologize for that. So, if we yell at or hit a child for whatever reason, shouldn't the child have the right to hear an apology from us for the hurt we gave, Ma?
You can explain why you are angry that you yell or hit him. But before that, Mama needs to apologize to him first.
2. Listen to the child's feelings
Whether shown or not, children must experience certain feelings when they get yelled at or hit by their parents. Give him and Mama time to calm down first. After Mama and child's emotions begin to stabilize again, try to talk to him slowly, Ma. Ask and hear how he feels about the incident. Accept whatever emotions the child is feeling. Be careful, don't let Mama deny or get defensive when your child is telling you how he feels. The child may feel his feelings are not valid then.
If you listen carefully, your child can feel that someone understands his feelings, Mom. The feeling can get better after that. The same goes for my mother's relationship with him.
3. Give your child time to calm down while socializing
Experiencing violence often makes children feel less confident, Ma, whether it's physical or verbal violence that doesn't show any visible wounds.Then, his self-distrust can affect his social life. Children may be afraid to interact with other people or even isolate themselves from the social world.
If a child experiences something like this, don't let it go, even though we understand the reason behind his behavior, Ma. Children's social life is important to build.As much as possible, we still need to get used to socializing with other people, Ma. Of course still with respect for his feelings. When your child starts to feel afraid when interacting with other people, you can give him time to calm down.There's no need to panic, let alone hurry. Just take it slow, Ma. If you are calm, your child will feel comfortable around you.
4. Make sure the child feels comfortable when interacting with other people
Children who are traumatized by physical or verbal violence can show different post-traumatic reactions, you know, Ma. Try to pay attention to his reactions or behavior, especially when he responds to something. For example, his reaction when approached by friends, how he does his routine, or even how he sleeps.
By watching her reactions, you can know what you can do to keep her comfortable. Children can do things better if they feel comfortable, loved, and valued.
5. Share stories with children
To restore the confidence of children who have experienced violence, the interaction between mothers and children needs to be continuously built. Mama can start by sharing stories. Start with a story about Mama's fun experience that is easy for the child to understand, Ma. With stories like that, children can be more comfortable getting to know other people and interacting again.
6. Don't justify your child's bad behavior
Sometimes, after parents realize that they have hurt their child through yelling or hitting, they treat the child differently because they feel guilty.It's natural to feel guilty at times like that. However, don't let Mama's guilt make Mama reluctant to remind her children, okay?
If your child makes a mistake, you still need to let him know that what he did was wrong. If your child is disappointed because he can't get what he wants, you still need to give him understanding so he can understand the situation.Don't justify his bad behavior or obey him because you feel guilty, okay? Actions like this would not be good for his development.
7. Keep educating children as they should
Seeing children experiencing trauma is very worrying. However, don't treat your child differently because of that, Mom. However, children still need direction about various things from their parents.
For example, how to be nice to his friend, what to do with his toys after he finishes playing, how important it is to say the 3 magic words (sorry, please, thank you), and how to admit mistakes.Don't let Mama act loose because the child has experienced trauma, okay? As a parent, Mama's duty to educate children will continue. Agreed, Mom? So, keep educating the child as he should get. Only, in a way that is more acceptable to children.
Those are 7 tips for dealing with trauma in children due to being scolded and beaten, Ma. It is undeniable, it is difficult for parents to always hold back their emotions when they see their children behaving badly.Therefore, when we as parents get angry or hit a child, it's a good idea to immediately repair it so that the wounds we give don't continue until they grow up. Good luck, Mom!